Saturday 23 July Test Match Special At a ripe old age Geoffrey Boycott passes through the veil of tears and goes to heaven, but at the pearly gates St Peter refuses him entry. Telling St Peter about his impressive test and county record makes no difference and he dejectedly walks away, passing an old man with a large beard as he goes. The old man walks up to the gates and says 'Geoffrey Boycott' and is immediately let in. Hearing this, the Yorkshire legend rushes back and demands to know what's going on and who the old man is.
'Well, he's God, but he thinks he's Geoffrey Boycott, ' says St Peter.
© 1975 Out With The Ark Jokes Ltd.
BBC Radio 4 LW, 10.20am Sunday Seconds From Disaster The Stava dam collapse, Italy, 1985.
National Geographic, 7pm Monday Precious Cargo The first of five programmes about life in the British Merchant Navy. Tar very much.
BBC Radio 4, 3.45pm Tuesday Anne Widdecombe to The Rescue You'd have thought that just the prospect of the MP for Maidstone & Weald coming round to your house to give you a no nonsense lifestyle lecture would immediately cure you of all ills. Alas, readers, there are some hapless masochists out there who have yet to learn to choose their mistress carefully.
BBC2, 8.30pm Wednesday Rebuilding Rome As jigsaws go, the Severan Marble Plan from 3AD takes some beating. Only 1,200 pieces from the detailed map of Rome have been recovered and only 250 have been put back together. Vanessa Collingridge ponders the painstaking process.
BBC Radio 4, 11am Thursday The Material World Quentin Cooper assesses the impact of chloroform - discovered by accident in 1831 by pharmacist Samuel Guthrie.
BBC Radio 4, 4.30pm Books M6 Sights Guide Those of you who enjoyed Roy Phippen's book M25 Travelling Clockwise might like to know that there are other titles which expand on the theme of what can be seen from motorways - and in a rather surreally entertaining way too. Covering the M4 and M6, the Sights Guides include facts, history, anecdotes and a multitude of photographs of places littering the routes.
Listed in journey order and junction by junction, the entries veer from the sublime to the ridiculous. It's a diverting and amusing read, no question about it, folks.
Available from Severnpix, £9.99 ISBN 0 9545402 1 2 www. severnpix. co. uk After our item in June about the Ebay auction of a certificate awarded to workers on the Mersey Tunnel, Anne Masat of Eastcote contacted Foresight with an interesting story. She also has a copy of the document and it has been passed down through her family since it was awarded to her grandfather in 1928. He was a tunnelling foreman on the project and a tender 21 years of age at the time. Hand printed on weighty parchment, there were probably not that many handed out and the Ebay one is the only other Anne has seen. Anne's copy is framed and has pride of place on her wall at home. This one ain't for sale, folks. Nice one, Anne.