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The question Big Brother

Tomorrow is Comic Relief, and central to the fun this year is a celebrity Big Brother. All week the nation has been watching Jack Dee's increasingly desperate efforts to escape the likes of Vanessa Feltz and Anthea Turner. So we ask: who would you put in a Big Brother house?

Jeremy Clarkson would make for entertaining viewing, with his anarchic opinions on all and sundry. Place him together with AA Gill for a really explosive mix. A health and safety representative would complete the recipe.

Kevin Griffiths, director, Yorkshire

I would nominate all politicians, to keep them out of the way so that real people can concentrate on real issues for a time.

Dave Beck, 62, retired

Anne Robinson. I dislike her very smug and irritating interview style on Watchdog, whereby she interrupts the answers. I would like to see her cut to pieces.

John Sreeves, 43, senior engineer, Swindon

I think it would have to be the dog that lives in my house.

He was my partner's eldest son's dog who came to stay for the weekend and two years, 10 months, six days, 11 hours and 37 minutes is one hell of a long weekend in my book. His name? Max.

Breed? Boxer like Eubank.

I do not like dogs. I do not like Max as he has just ripped a great gash in my right thumb.

It is in stitches and a huge bandage and typing is difficult. He breaks wind.

He slobbers. He pukes. He wees on my plants just to aggravate me. He takes my partner away for long walks.

In Big Brother House he would be useless and would take no notice of Big Brother.

If not I migh yet try the small ads.

Andrew Worby 50, senior solicitor, Bath

I'd put Davina McCall in the house with several of her clones. Then she may see how annoying she really is and, of course, be punished at the same time.

Alex Pendleton, 29, field engineer, Kent

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