Take responsibility: recognise that managing a relationship is a two-way process and that both parties need to accept a role in improving the situation.
Develop self-awareness: explore your own personality traits, define what your priorities are and understand what values are important to you.
Know your colleague: try and understand the other person's personality, values and priorities.
Recognise the differences: while you may do an excellent job your colleague may see you as obsessive and a perfectionist. Identifying where your personalities, priorities and values differ is crucial to understanding where difficulties arise.
Keep your cool: be aware of your emotional and physiological responses to stress. Try and remain professional by taking a calm, collected and logical approach.
Face problems: suggest a time and place to discuss the issues. Meet in private and avoid times of obvious stress.
Avoid confrontation: approach the discussion in a collaborative, adult way and aim to reach an outcome that benefits both parties. If dealing with a junior member of staff, agree clear and explicit performance improvement measures.
Develop your self-confidence and emotional resilience: believe in yourself and try not to take knocks personally.
Look long term: behaviours do not change overnight, so be patient.
If all else fails: if the situation does not improve, consider moving job or company
but learn actively from the experience. If dealing with a subordinate, issue the appropriate verbal and then written warnings, in accordance with employment law. If this fails, bite the bullet and dismiss the individual.