I am more than a little troubled by the passing reference to the Depressed River Mussel in Mark Hansford's report on the Jubilee River flood defence extension (NCE, last week).
Surely as a Green profession we need to know more.
Why is it depressed? Is it because it lives in Staines? Is there only one of them? If so, is that why it's depressed? Is anyone trying to cheer it/them up? Come on NCE, we need the facts about this poor creature and we need them now, before it's too late!
Rod Dixon (M), Hollywood B47 5ND Editor's note: Urgent research has been commissioned into this matter.