Subscribe for full online access and get...
- Full, instant access to all stories
- Customised email alerts straight to your inbox
- Monthly print magazine
For the best possible experience using our website we recommend you upgrade to a newer version or another browser.
Thursday: Woe is me! My head is full of glorious plans to celebrate the new millennium, but my pocket contains a mere 50 quid, a creased photo of Anthea Turner and some fluff. The decision to withhold funding for my £500M, GS2000 millennium extravaganza is a grave mistake. Why should it be spent instead on the National Museum of Mandy's Toenail Clippings?