Saturday 15 May Eurovision Song Contest If music be the food of love then it's time to reach for the Gaviscon, readers. UK success at this year's Eurovision rests with a callow youth by the name of James Fox and a tune called 'Hold On To Our Love'. James Fox? Wasn't he in 'The Servant' with Dirk Bogarde or am I showing my age?
BBC1, 8pm Sunday Historic Fire Engine Rally All hands to the pump, readers.
Kew's annual Historic Fire Engines Rally is back with another fantastic array of engines and appliances to ogle at. Star attraction this year is the Royal College of Science 1918 Denis fire engine, complete with a crew dressed in period costume.
The rally starts at 11am and finishes at 5pm. My father used to be very fond of telling people to 'fight fire with fire'. Alas, it was this very dictum that saw him sacked from the fire service. Only joking.
Kew Bridge Steam Museum, Brentford, Middlesex, Tel: (020) 8568 4757, www. kbsm. org Monday The White Stuff Until 1803 clouds and their different shapes were known collectively as 'essences'. That was until Luke Howard, a pharmacist with a passion for meteorology, decided to classify the cotton wool concoctions into the four groups we know and love today. Cumulus, cirrus, nimbus and stratus. Richard Hamblyn reveals all. Back in 1978, punk rockers The Stranglers wrote a song called Sweden (All Quiet on the Western Front), which contained the words 'Let me tell you about Sweden, only country where the clouds are interesting. Cumulus nimbus floats by. . . etc, ' Wordsworths of the New Wave, or what?
BBC Radio 4, 8.30pm Tuesday Time Team: London's First Bridge The team examines remains at Vauxhall which suggest it may have been the capital's first river crossing.
Discovery Channel, 7pm Building The Ultimate:
Suspension Bridge Designers explain the challenges faced when building the only man made structure to span more than one mile.
Discovery Channel, 9pm Earth's Fury Hailstones the size of cricket balls and colossal thunderclouds get you excited? Step this way, readers.
Channel 5, 8pm Thursday Material World Could dramatic and sudden changes in climate lead to the calamitous consequences depicted in the latest Hollywood blockbuster 'The Day After Tomorrow'? Quentin Cooper probes.
BBC Radio 4, 4.30pm Debate Commuting: The Life Sentence?
With some of the longest commuting times in Europe most Britons have an opinion on their journey to work - and it's usually negative. Attending this debate may not relieve the misery of those burdened with a tiresome excursion into work, but look on the bright side, it starts at 7pm so by the time it's finished you'll have missed the rush hour.
Speakers include: Nicky Gavron, candidate for deputy mayor of London; David Young, Sustrans south-east; and Dea Birkett from the Guardian. Places are limited.
Terrace Rooms, Museum of London, 7pm, 20 May, Tickets: £8 (£6 student concessions) Tel: (020) 7505 6711 www. transportresearch. org. uk